As a Marriage and Family Therapist, communication is key to building rapport with clients. Communication is the key that unlocks the doors behind which people often hide. Communication is the key that opens their hearts. There are many facets and dimensions to effective communication. In this blog post, I will share with you one facet to effective communication that will hopefully be enlightening and thought-provoking for you: Communication has little to do with the words that we say. That’s right. According to tons of data and research, the words we use make up only 7% of our communication. Another 38% of our communication consists of our tone. Last but certainly not least, the remaining 55% of our communication stems from our body language, or physiology.
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I can teach you the kinds of words to use when speaking with your business partner, friend, lover, etc. Although words only make up 7% of communication, do no let this statistic mislead you. Words carry a lot of weight, and they can make or break a conversation. In addition to words we use, Family Therapists also know that the tone a person uses in his communication with others is instrumental in bringing either harmony or discord between two people. If a person’s tone is abrasive or indifferent, for example, the communication between two people can go South very fast. Finally, a family therapist like myself knows that our body language communicates an incredible amount of valuable information to whomever we’re speaking to. Heck, police interrogators watch a person’s body language far more closely than a suspect’s words. This is precisely because they know that a person’s body language reveals so much about a person’s true feelings, intentions, motives, etc.
If you’re struggling to communicate effectively to the significant people in your lives, I want to invite you to visit with me or any highly capable Marriage and Family Therapist or NLP Practitioner. Communication is, after all, an art form, and to become a talented artist takes mentoring, time, and practice. In the meantime, remember that to be a better communicator, you must be mindful of your words, your tone, and your body language.
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