Category Archives: NLP

Hypnotherapy: How it Works-And No,It Won’t Make You Cluck Like A Chicken!!

HYPNOTHERAPY

Image from galleryhip.com

Image from galleryhip.com

As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Master NLP Practitioner, Dharma Life Coach, Sports Psychology Consultant, and Certified Hypnotherapist, I want to take a moment and share with you how hypnotherapy works, and how come it is so useful in empowering my clients to make positive changes in their behavior, adopt new and empowering belief systems, develop new strategies to substantially improve the quality of their lives, assist them in aligning their actions with their core values and guiding principles, etc.  However, before I share with you the benefits that come from hypnotherapy, I want to shed light for you on what hypnosis is and what hypnosis is not.

First and foremost, I want to assure you that hypnosis is not a state of being asleep or unconscious; this notion is patently false.  In addition, seeking out hypnosis or hypnotherapy doesn’t mean that you’re gullible, weak-minded, at the mercy of being controlled by someone else, vulnerable to revealing secrets about yourself or someone else, or that you’ll experience a loss of self-control of some kind.   On the contrary of what some people mistakenly believe about hypnosis, the process of hypnotherapy merely helps you experience a state of relaxation and effortless concentration in which you are awake, in rapport with your unconscious mind, in total control, and have greater access to your active imagination and independent will, wisdom,  and treasure trove of internal resources.  As you are experiencing hypnosis, you are always capable of making decisions at all times.   You are aware of everything while being hypnotised , and you can choose to welcome positive suggestions into your unconscious mind or reject them out of hand if you feel that they won’t serve you.  The bottom line is that you are the engine, and I am merely the steering wheel.   Let me demonstrate to you what hypnosis really feels like:  Kindly close your eyes and pause for 5 seconds. That’s it, it feels just like that!!

The truth is, everything is hypnosis.  Waking forms of hypnosis include television, radio advertisements, self-talk, reading, daydreaming, listening to your I-Pod, mental and emotional rehearsal, visualization, and meditation.  All of these activities put us in altered states and open us up to good and bad suggestions about ourselves, our lives, and the world we live in.  Thought-provoking questions, too, can help us change states and drop down into our unconscious minds and arrive at deeper truths about ourselves, our purpose, our mission, and our destiny.  Hypnotherapists would say these questions and the subsequent search for answers that lie beneath your conscious mind in the pool of your unconscious mind a “Transderivational Search.” TDS is a compelling, automatic and unconscious state of internal focus and processing.

Even seemingly mundane things make hypnotic deposits into our unconscious mind like what your potential new boyfriend or girlfriend’s clothing attire is like, the type of car that he or she drives, the kind of furniture he or she has in her home, the metaphorical paintings hung up on his or her wall, or the spiritual or religious symbols placed on his or her or desk provide you indirect, unconscious suggestions about his or her successes, financial situation, and core values and belief systems.

Hypnosis is a collaboration between therapist and client, and it is designed to amplify your abilities, increase your personal control, offer your solutions and opportunities for self-healing, harness your resources to create what you truly want, change old memories so that the ones that you’ve replaced them with support and empower you, change your state, help you to feel how you want to feel, increase your self-esteem,  de-couple or unlink old, Neuro- associations, adopt more adaptive behaviors, acquire self-empowering belief systems, decide on your highest values and guiding principles, help you to respond to situations instead of react to them, provide you new strategies to manage your life on your terms, embrace healthier habits, activate the Law of Attraction, and consistently achieve specific and desired outcomes.

In order for Hypnosis to work most effectively, it’s important that you and I help you enter into an altered state of consciousness in which you feel relaxed so that there is a quieting of your conscious mind and a softening of your psychic defenses so that you are responsive to my positive suggestions. As a Certified hypnotherapist, it is my job to easily and effortlessly help you to enter into an Apha or Theta electromagnetic brain-wave state ( altered states) to help you achieve your desired outcomes. These are two of the 4 different frequencies of electromagnetic brainwaves that provide us our state of ‘consciousness.’

Before I share with you how I do this, I want to briefly share with you a little bit about these two brainwave states.  The Alpha state is a relaxed state.  You are able to access creativity, rest, reflection,  and visualization.  Theta state is a deeper state of relaxation that enhances mental processes; this is a common state of meditation, daydreaming, being creative, accessing memories, learning, and adopting more adaptive, empowering beliefs about yourself, relationships, and the world at large.  You experience theta as you fall asleep and wake up every day.  In light of our relaxed, open, and receptive state of consciousness when we’re in Alpha and Theta states, they are the optimal states for clients seeking to benefit from hypnosis. In these relaxed states, we have far more access to the treasure trove of resources and pearls of wisdom that are already housed inside of our unconscious minds.

To support you in getting into an Alpha or Theta state, I use a variety of techniques, including using a hypnotic induction script that you can simply Google and find, use hypnotic language and phrasing, state-deepening techniques, engage  your imagination, use powerful imagery, use metaphors, use symbols, engage your senses, tell you stories,  allow for silences and deliberate pauses to elapse as I speak, ask you thought-provoking questions, rely on quotes from famous people, and use my voice as an instrument that has a deep, low, rhythmic, and repetitious tone and timbre.  The reality is that what I say is not nearly as important as how I say it!!

So far, I’ve shared with you what hypnosis is and what it isn’t.  I’ve also shared with you that it’s a collaborative endeavor between you, my client, and me, your therapist, and it is designed (among other things) to put you in a state of relaxation so that you are able to amplify your abilities, adopt new belief systems, and help you to access resources that are already inside of you realize more of your fullest potential and be the creative force in your own life.  Now, I’d like to share with you how I facilitate a collaborative hypnotherapy session that will yield the results that you’re looking for.

Although there are many ways to facilitate a hypnotherapy session, my favorite is co-creating a script with my client whereupon I ask him or her specific questions to help them attain their desired outcomes.  For example, I’ll ask him or her some of the following questions:  1)What is your desired outcome?  2)  How would you like to behave, act, and respond to whatever old challenges you’re facing starting today and going forward?  3) How would you like to feel?  4)  What sensations would you like to feel in your body?  5) What images or metaphors come up that accurately reflect the challenge that you’re facing?  6) What image or metaphor reflects how you’re overcoming your current challenge successfully?  7)  What would you like to believe about yourself as you’re overcoming this challenge and adopting new behaviors, letting go of old memories, vanquishing parts of you that may be sabotaging you, etc? 8)  How come overcoming this challenge is valuable and important to you?  9)  What are the rewards that you’ll gain by overcoming this challenge?  10)  How would you like your body language to be today and going forward?  11)  What resources must you remember to access that’s already inside of you to overcome this challenge?  12)  How will you know when you have accomplished your goal?  13)  How will your life improve when you’ have attained your stated goal?  After writing down my client’s answers to these questions, I now have a script that I can use to reflect back to my client precisely what they have shared with me and want to hear reflected back to them in order to plant the seeds for transformation in their unconscious minds.

Although there are many ways to do hypnosis, I prefer co-creating a hypnotherapy script with my clients.  Therefore, After my client and I have co-created a Hypnosis script together, I begin the process of helping them enter into a state of deep relaxation so that they are vastly more receptive to the positive suggestions that I will deposit into their unconscious minds now that their psychic defenses are down.  As my client is feeling more and more relaxed, I use my voice, hypnotic language, questions, embedded commands, metaphors, symbols, stories, imagery, and other techniques to deeply ingrain in them the new behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, and feelings that they want to incorporate in their day-to-day lives.  I only use words that are positive because negative words are rejected by the unconscious mind.  I also am mindful to make my positive suggestions as detailed and specific as possible from my client’s perspective and/or map of the world.  Sometimes, however, I’m purposefully vague so that my clients can pool from their unconscious minds additional behaviors, empowering belief systems, guiding principles, and other resources that they didn’t have access to as we were co-creating our hypnosis script together.

As I facilitate hypnosis with my clients,  I’m also sure to make positive suggestions that are realistic, achievable, and believe-able to them.  In addition, I choose to be repetitive with my positive suggestions because this ingrains in them new conditioned behaviors and responses.  As Tony Robbins often says, “Repetition is the Mother of all skill.”  In addition, repetition aligns with the principles behind the Law of Concentrated Attention.  This law states that when our concentration and attention is subjected to repetition, we are far more likely to act on it.  Television commercials, for example, apply the principles behind the Law of Concentrated attention to compel you to go out and buy what they’re marketing to you. When the same commercial comes on 5 times throughout a one hour television show, we are far more likely to feel compelled to buy whatever the commercial is marketing to us  the next time that we see it in a grocery store, on-line, etc.

In addition to using repetition and ensuring that my client’s goals are realistic and achievable, I am careful to speak in the present tense to them as I facilitate their hypnotherapy.  Instead of saying to them, “You will be,”, I will say to them instead, ” You already are.”   Mind you, this present-tense approach is not a form of self-deception; it is a form of self-direction.  I am also mindful to pair positive emotions with the positive suggestions that they are longing to hear.  For example, instead of saying, ” You are finding your voice with your boss,”, I will say, ” You are courageously and delightfully finding your voice with your boss.”  Furthermore, I address my client’s relationship with themselves, their relationships with the people in their lives, and their relationship with the world at large.  In other words, I focus on my client’s values, behaviors, responses, emotions, belief systems, etc.  It serves no purpose to say, ” Your husband treats you with respect” or ” The audience is loving you,” because how others behave is outside of my client’s control.

In conclusion, the reason that Hypnosis is such a powerful therapeutic tool is because the unconscious mind responds to experiential communication,is capable of symbolic interpretation, and responds to metaphors, symbols, stories, etc. In addition, hypnosis offers therapists and clients alike a way to access the treasure trove or resources and library of wisdom that is housed there.  In turn, hypnotherapy facilitates personal empowerment, allows clients to access illuminating insights, sharpens their intuition, and helps them to integrate and/or incorporate new paradigms, states, values, belief systems, behaviors, and much, much more so that they experience positive shifts and changes in their lives sooner than later.

Although Hypnotherapy isn’t a silver bullet that puts to rest whatever challenges you’re facing, it’s a powerful therapeutic technique never the less that is specifically designed to contribute to your personal growth and assist you in realizing your greatest potential.  As a Certified Hypnotherapist, I’ve been delighted to find that it’s a safe, collaborative endeavor, and it’s one that I highly encourage you to use to support yourself in achieving your goals and desired outcomes!!  As a matter of fact, I personally create Hypnotherapy scripts for myself, and I am happy to tell you that I’ve found them to be invaluable as I continue to grow and evolve.

I sincerely hope that you found my blog on how Hypnotherapy works informative and enlightening.

Warm regards to all of you~

John Boesky, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist ( MFT)/ Certified Hypnotherapist

( Master NLP Practitioner, Certified Dharma Life Coach & Sports Psychology Consultant )

 

 

 

ufc fighter myes jury with sports psychologist john boesky

Myles Jury Prepares for UFC Fight with Sports Pyschology Consultant John Boesky

Image taken from fightnetwork.com

Image taken from fightnetwork.com

As a Sports Performance Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Certified Dharma Life Coach, I’ve had the privilege of working on a weekly basis with UFC Mixed Martial Artist, Myles Jury, for several years now.

I first met Myles when I was invited down to the Alliance MMA gym by the brilliant head coach there, Eric Del Fierro, three or four years ago to talk to about 25 of his top fighters about how Sports Psychology can give elite athletes in any sport the mental and emotional edge that separates the best and most accomplished athletes from the rest.

As I was sharing my thoughts in front of a white board before 3 rows deep of skeptical, hulking mixed martial artists, I distinctly recall a young guy in the back row who was totally engaged in what I had to say and kept asking me question after question. As the other fighters listened and occasionally chimed in as well with their own questions, this young guy really stood out to me; his interest in what I was sharing was unmatched by anyone else in the room.

A few weeks later I received a telephone call from an MMA fighter who trained at Alliance, and he asked me if we could meet in person in my office for a sports psychology session. I’ve been privileged to work with a lot of the elite fighters from Alliance MMA, and I was more than happy to work with this anonymous guy I was briefly talking to on the phone.

Within a week, this anonymous fighter and I were scheduled to meet on a certain day at a specific time, and when that day and time rolled around, in came that young, inquisitive fighter who was asking me all those questions from the back row the day that I stood in front of the white board at Alliance MMA a month or so prior.

It turns out that that young man was none other than Myles Jury, who is currently a UFC fighter ranked among the top 10 featherweights in the world. The day that I had my first session with Myles, I think he had had only one fight in the UFC, and he was hardly considered a future contender for the UFC belt.

As I said before, I’ve been working diligently with Myles for a long time now. He’s been climbing up the ranks in his weight class ever since, and he’ll be facing Donald Cerrone this weekend to determine who will fight for the belt against the UFC’s current champion in the near future.

Prior to the bigger UFC pay per view events, the UFC and other MMA websites create videos that are designed to introduce you to the fighters and hype the fights up so fans will be enticed to pay the requisite $59.00 to watch the fighters compete.

Unbeknownst to me, Myles wanted me to be in the video leading up to UFC 182. I remember showing up to work about a month ago preparing to have a session with Myles at my office, and I was greeted by a camera crew consisting of 5 guys wanting to film how Myles and I interacted and what typically goes on in our sports Psychology session.

I’m a pretty easy going guy and pretty comfortable in front of cameras, so I decided to roll with their requests of me. One request from them was that I engage Myles in a sports psychology-related exercise to give a small window into how sports psychology works.

In that moment, I decided to engage Myles in a process called Voice Dialogue Technique. The basic premise behind Voice Dialogue technique is that we all have many parts to our personality; call them sub personalities if you will. Each part of us ( even the ones we don’t necessarily like) have loving, nurturing, and/ or protective positive intentions for us.

When we reject, bury, or disown these parts of us, they get louder, take over, and throw a coup; they run the show, and our higher selves watch helplessly as they do so.

Instead, it’s far wiser that the wisest, most decisive, and most discerning part of us run the show instead. This part of us is not so much a part of us as it is our essence. People assign this energy inside of us all kinds of names: the Watcher; The King or Queen: The CEO; The Higher Self; The Soul, etc.

In my teaching piece with Myles in the video, I was reminding him to turn to the CEO or King in him to show up before, during, and after his fight in ways that align with his core values and serve his highest good. I also encouraged him to partner with the other parts of him rather than reject or disown them.

For example, I encouraged him that if he noticed that a fearful part of him was emerging as his fight approached, it would serve him well for the King or CEO in him to thank the fearful part of him for showing up in an effort to protect him from physical harm, the fear of being negatively judged by others, etc . After acknowledging and honoring the fearful part’s positive intentions, I encouraged the King in him to turn to the Warrior part of him and let him take over and embody him before and during the fight; after all, the Warrior in him wants to serve him by rising to the occasion, performing well, and giving him the best possible chance to win this fight. In turn, the Warrior in him will give him the best chance to attract sponsors, make money, secure his future, and give him the financial freedom to live a more enriched life.

Our minds are symbolic by nature, and so they respond to imagery, metaphors, and symbols. Knowing this, I handed Myles a red and gold sword in the video to represent the Warrior in him. I wanted to remind him that it would be wise if his King or CEO summoned the courage and unbreakable spirit of his Warrior that’s waiting for his turn to serve Myles’ best interests this week.

Unfortunately the exercise that I did with Myles was edited, and so it’s likely that a lot of people may not have understood the intention behind the sword or how the Voice Dialogue Technique works.

Never the less, I thought it was important on that particular day to remind Myles of the Warrior’s heart beating rhythmically inside of him. I also wanted to remind him to partner with any well-intentioned fear that might come up for him during fight week.

Alas, even though I was given no forewarning to shoot this very small video segment with Myles as his fight with Donald Cerrone quickly approaches I think it was a success never the less, and as always, I sincerely enjoyed seeing and working with Myles “Fury” Jury!!

Whether or not Myles wins his fight this weekend is out of my control. I do know, however, that I am in his corner, win, lose, or draw, and that I always will be.

Thank you for very much for taking your time to read my blog entry; I hope that you enjoyed it!!

Warmly,
John Boesky, LMFT/MNLP/CHT/Certified Dharma Life Coach, and Sports Performance Coach

What is NLP (Neuro-Lingusitic Programming)?

Image taken from expertmind.com

Image taken from expertmind.com

As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer, I want to take a moment and share with you what NLP stands for; Neuro-Linguistic Programming is a name that encompasses the three most influential components involved in producing human experience: neurology, language and programming. The neurological system regulates how our bodies function, language determines how we interface and communicate with other people and our programming determines the kinds of models of the world we create. Neuro-Linguistic Programming describes the fundamental dynamics between mind (Neuro) and language (linguistic) and how their interplay affects our body and behavior (Programming).

To define “Neuro” more clearly for you, I want to add that it includes our nervous system (the mind) through which our experiences are processed through our five senses: More specifically Visual (sight), Auditory (hearing), Kinesthetic (touch), Olfactory (smell), and Gustatory (taste).  In NLP, we believe that we encode and give meaning to our sensory experiences through our use of Sub Modalities.  Visual Sub Modalities, for example, include whether or not the images in our minds are in black and white, color, near or far, bright or dim, focused or unfocused, moving or still, framed or panoramic, associated or disassociated, etc.  Auditory Sub Modalities include whether or not what we hear is loud or soft, internal or external, fast or slow, high in pitch, low, etc.  Kinesthetic Sub Modalties include whether or not our felt sense of our experiences have a shape to it, a texture, a size, a weight, a movement, a location in our bodies, etc.  In NLP, Master NLP Practitioners like me change a client’s Sub Modalities (with his or her permission and collaboration) so that we can change the way he or she has encoded and given meaning to his experiences, if it will serve his or her highest good to do so.

For example, if a client of mine has a daunting picture or movie in his mind’s eye of an upcoming tennis match, and it appears to him in black and white, dim, and loud with the sound of tennis balls being whacked all around the court, I might encourage him to make the picture or movie colorful, bright, and accompanied by the sight of tennis balls moving in slow motion with a muted sound. If his opponent appears to him in his picture or movie as 10 feet tall, I might encourage him to freeze the frame, shrink it in size, and make his opponent appear 1 inch tall with big ears and bushy eye brows.  I might even encourage him to add a circus soundtrack to his picture or movie to help him laugh and see his tennis match as funny and therefore something to look forward to.

If the nervousness he is feeling feels like a cold, rectangular piece of sharp glass located in the pit of his stomach, I might encourage him to make the cold, rectangular shape of sharp glass in the pit of stomach warm, round, soft, and ask him to then imagine pushing that rectangular object out of his stomach to the opposite side of the room.  By changing his Sub Modalities, or the ways he is encoding and giving meaning to his tennis match, I’m changing his “internal representation”, or interpretation, of what his tennis match really means; It’s an opportunity to have fun, embrace the challenge, and do his very best.  After all, Master NLP Practitioners don’t believe that there is such a thing as failure; there is only feedback.

Changing his picture or movie of his match will change his “State” (feelings), which in turn will change his physiology and body language.  This is one of the many goals of NLP; to change a client’s  “internal representations”, or his  interpretations of events that are being influenced by his senses and 5 senses and respective Sub Modalities, so that he can change the way he sees the past, the present, and the future as well as how he sees himself, others, and the world around him.

When I use the term “Linguistic”, I am referring to the language and other nonverbal communication systems through which our neural representations are coded, ordered, and given meaning.  These neural representations include pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes, smells, and words (Self-Talk.)  These words also include the metaphors, similes, and analogies we use as well as the many symbolic ways that we express ourselves. When we change these neural representations, we are able to change our states and internal representations of the world, and we are also able to communicate with others far more effectively.  The language used in NLP is often sensory grounded to code what we’re capable of doing behaviorally.

When it comes to “Linguistics”, Master NLP practitioners like me wholeheartedly believe that only 7% of communication with others consists of the words we use; 38% of communication consists of the tone that we use; finally, 55% of our communication with others consists of our physiology, or body language.  Therefore, when we choose to mirror someone else’s words, tone, and body language, we’re able to build rapport with them almost instantly.

Another way that master NLP practitioners use language powerfully is by incorporating hypnotic language when working with clients.  When NLP originators John Grinder and Richard Bandler teamed up with the father of hypnosis, Milton Erickson, they realized that using NLP techniques and patterns in concert with Erickson’s hypnotic phrasing helped them to affect positive change in their clients even more rapidly than they did beforehand.  Erickson’s hypnotic language is merely a way of using words to bypass a client’s conscious resistance so that he or she is receptive to the very changes in their lives that they want to create!!  A typical Erickson language pattern often used is called “tag questions.”  If a client of mine wants to believe that she’s capable, but she consciously believes that she’s incapable, I might use a tag question by saying, ” You know better than anyone that you’re capable, don’t you?”

As a Master NLP Practitioner, I know that speaking to a client’s conscious mind and saying, “you’re capable” will likely go in one ear and out the other; my words will be met with resistance.  However, my use of the tag question, “Don’t you?” will bypass his or her resistance to this new truth, and his or her unconscious mind will be far more receptive to agreeing with my empowering assertion. In light of all that I’ve shared with you about “Linguistics,” I would offer to you that NLP is clearly a powerful way of using the language of the mind to consistently achieve specific and desired outcomes.

When Master NLP practitioners use the word, “programming, ” they’re referring to a person’s unconscious belief systems, their memories, emotions, neuro-associations (the feelings we associate with certain people, places, and things), value systems, “parts” to their personality, communication styles and patterns, habits, strategies, behaviors, and the countless other ways we’ve been conditioned to perceive, experience, and show up in our lives and in the world.

As a Master NLP Practitioner, I believe that NLP is so powerful because its techniques allow us to access and get in rapport with our unconscious minds. This is so significant because it is believed that only 8% of our moment to moment awareness is conscious, and 92% of our moment to moment awareness is unconscious, or presently inaccessible to us; instead, everything else that we that don’t know that we know is housed in the bejeweled warehouse of our unconscious minds.

Almost magically, NLP patterns, techniques, insights, and experiential exercises help us to reprogram our minds and come up with new programs, strategies, and behaviors  that we can  run in our neurological systems to achieve our specific and desired outcomes. When we assimilate these specific set of unconscious strategies, we create the differences that make the difference in our lives.  When our unconscious beliefs, values, and personal self-concept/sense of ourselves are in alignment with our conscious set of beliefs, values, and self-concept, we feel integrated, whole, complete, and newly empowered!!

Although you may have never heard of the following NLP techniques and patterns, some include the Time Line Technique, Parts Integration, Anchoring, Future Pacing, Visualization, Mental, Emotional and Psychological Rehearsal, the Swish Pattern, Mapping Across, The Modeling Process, The Inner Sage Pattern, The Charles Dickens Pattern, the Walt Disney Pattern, Voice Dialogue Technique, Rapport Building, working with Primary Representational Systems, Developing Sensory Acuity, The Falling Out Of Love Pattern, The Enough is Enough Pattern, The Movie Rewind Pattern, etc.  As a Master NLP Practitioner, I have found that NLP tools and skills work powerfully in the development of states of individual excellence and enhancing human performance. In addition, they establish a system of empowering beliefs and presuppositions that reveal what human beings are, what communication is, and what the process of change is all about.

NLP is therefore a multi-dimensional process that involves the development of behavioral competence and flexibility, but also involves strategic thinking and an understanding of the mental and cognitive processes behind behavior.  At another level, NLP is about self-discovery, exploring identity, and mission. It helps us access the treasure trove of wisdom and resources that are housed in our unconscious minds and brings our wisdom and resources to the surface of conscious awareness so that we can access our full human potential.   In addition, it also provides a framework for understanding and relating to the ‘spiritual’ part of human experience that reaches beyond us as individuals to our family, community and global systems. NLP is not only about competence and excellence; it is about wisdom and vision.

According to Master NLP Practitioner Robert Diltz, NLP is essentially founded on two fundamental presuppositions:

1. The Map is Not the Territory.  As human beings, we can never know reality. We can only know our perceptions of reality. We experience and respond to the world around us primarily through our sensory representational systems. It is our ‘neuro-linguistic’ maps of reality that determine how we behave and that give those behaviors meaning, not reality itself. It is generally not reality that limits us or empowers us, but rather our map of reality.

2. Life and ‘Mind’ are Systemic Processes. The processes that take place within a human being and between human beings and their environment are systemic. Our bodies, our societies, and our universe form ecology of complex systems and sub-systems all of which interact with and mutually influence each other. It is not possible to completely isolate any part of the system from the rest of the system. Such systems are based on certain ‘self-organizing’ principles and naturally seek optimal states of balance or homeostasis.

All of the models and techniques of NLP are based on the combination of these two principles. In the belief system of NLP, it is not possible for human beings to know objective reality. Wisdom, ethics, and ecology do not derive from having the one ‘right’ or ‘correct’ map of the world, because human beings are not capable of making one. Rather, the goal is to create the richest map possible that respects the systemic nature and ecology of ourselves and the world we live in.

As a Master NLP Practitioner, I believe that the people who are most effective in life are the ones who are most flexible and have a map of the world that allows them to perceive the greatest number of available choices and perspectives. They use NLP patterns and techniques to enrich the choices that they have and perceive as available in the world around them. They recognize that excellence comes from having many choices, and they believe that wisdom comes from having multiple perspectives.

Through the years, NLP has continued to develop some very powerful tools and skills for communication and change in a wide range of professional areas including: Psychotherapy, Marriage and Family Therapy, Counseling, Life Coaching, Education, Health, Business, Creativity, Law, Management, Sales, Leadership and Parenting.  NLP is now in its third decade as a field of study and has evolved considerably since its beginnings in the mid 1970s. Over the years, NLP has literally spread around the world and has touched the lives of millions of people. Since the 1990’s, a new generation of NLP has been developing.

If you’d like me to teach you leading-edge NLP techniques and patterns to help you get into rapport with your unconscious mind, accelerate your personal growth process, and unleash far more of your full potential as a man, woman, and/or athlete than you have ever imagined before, please reach out to me and let me know!! Like so many of my other clients, I trust that you will find that NLP tools and techniques will serve as a powerful catalyst in your pursuit of personal growth and transformation.

Thank you very much for taking your time to read my article/blog on NLP (Neuro-Lingusitic Programming).  I hope that you that you’ve found it informative, thought-provoking, and enlightening!!

image from purenlp.com

image from purenlp.com

Sincerely,

John Boesky, LMFT/MNLP/CHT

(Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist/ Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer/Certified Hypnotherapist)

 

ACCESS YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND FOR PEAK PERFORMANCE IN SPORTS

image taken from dynamicquantumcoaching.co.za

image taken from dynamicquantumcoaching.co.za

Capable sports psychologists know how to help athletes access their Unconscious Mind so that they can pool the wisdom and resources that they’ll need to perform at their very best.  Sports psychologists assist athletes in doing this by using a number of techniques, like Hypnosis, EMDR, Voice Dialogue Technique, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Emotional Freedom Technique, and many others.  Unfortunately for a lot of really good athletes, they don’t  know what the Unconscious Mind is.  Essentially, it is the part of the mind that houses memories, belief systems, values, neuro-associations, sub-personalities, and all kinds of valuable wisdom that they aren’t consciously aware of in the present moment.  Only upon reflection, or when they’ve been asked a thought provoking question, or with the guidance of a sports psychologist, do these awarenesses percolate up from their unconscious mind  into conscious awareness.

As a Sports Psychologist Consultant, I often share with my clients  that only 8% of our moment-to-moment awareness is conscious.  The other 92% of our conscious awareness resides in our Unconscious Mind!!  Think of a small house for a moment that has a very large warehouse attached to the back of it.  The small house represents our Conscious awareness.  Everything else that is stored in the large warehouse behind this small house represents the Unconscious.  Sports Psychologists like myself work very hard at accessing their client’s Unconscious so that they can use  the unlimited resources that await them there.  With the support of a sports psychologist, an athlete can get into rapport with their unconscious mind.  In other words, their thoughts, feelings, sub-personalities, belief systems, value system, and energy field all become aligned with one another, and they become aligned and congruent with their Conscious Mind.  As a result, Sports Psychologists help them to become free of tension, self-doubt, and internal conflict.  Instead, their whole mind ( the 92% and the 8%) are working in concert with each other.  They are in rapport, and they are working together to help an athlete achieve his desired outcome and perform at his or her very best.

John Boesky

MFT/MNLP/CHT/

Sports Performance Consultant

 

WHAT SEPERATES THE BEST ATHLETES FROM THE REST

What Seperates The Best From The Rest

image taken from www.vibe.com

image taken from www.vibe.com

Athletes who excel in sports generally love the process that they must go through in order to achieve excellence in their chosen sport. This process includes growing mentally, physically, and spiritually. Although they prefer winning over losing, they value performing up to their potential and competing against the very best even more. Given this, these elite athletes tend to be more process-oriented and performance-oriented rather than outcome-oriented.

When they feel anxious before a competition, they choose to interpret their anxiety as excitement instead. They believe that the excitement that they’re feeling is their bodies’ way of awakening their senses so that they feel alert and prepared for the battle ahead. They also recognize that feeling excited before a competition is normal.

When they feel fear before a competition, they recognize that this feeling is perfectly normal too. They recognize that being fearless doesn’t mean being without fear. It means showing up and doing your best even when you are feeling afraid. In addition to understanding this fundamental truth, elite athletes recognize that their fear is merely their unconscious’ way of trying to keep their ego and self-identity intact. With this in mind, they choose to acknowledge their fear and thank it for trying to love and protect them. Feeling acknowledged and appreciated, their fear subsides and goes away.

When elite athletes lose, they take their losses or setbacks as opportunities for self-reflection, growth, and improvement. They believe that there is no such thing as failure, there is only feedback. This belief enables them to take positive lessons away from their losses, which in turn helps them to release any residual negative feelings they’re holding onto inside.

These athletes also engage in pre-performance rituals before competition that help them to feel calm, centered and focused. For example, they’ll pack water bottles in their equipment bags, an extra set of clothes, protein bars, etc. They do this to avoid feeling discombobulated when they show up to compete. They want to feel instead that everything is in order, and this perception in turn enables them to feel calm and focused only on their performance.

The top athletes also engage in rituals, habits, and strategies while they are competing that enable them to achieve great results over and over again across time. For example, some professional tennis players will do the following ritual in the same sequence each and every time they go the line to serve: First they’ll take a deep breath in from their diaphragm to release the tension they feel in their bodies. Next they’ll picture where they want their serve to go, and they’ll imagine it landing in that exact spot. After that, they’ll bounce the ball three times. At this point, their ritual has been completed, and they toss the ball up in the air and serve.

Finally, the best athletes engage in rituals after competition. Some may stretch, while others may take a cold bath to reduce the inflammation in their joints and muscles. There are others that prefer to spend their time after competing journaling on what they did really well, and they’ll also make note of what they’d like to work on more in practice. These kinds of rituals and routines following competition give these athletes a sense of closure after a long day of competing. They also offer their bodies a chance to recover, and they give their minds a chance to reflect as well as learn and grow from their experiences.

In addition to incorporating rituals into their athletic performances, the best athletes also masterfully access their ideal, peak performance states whenever they want to. Some athletes, for example, choose to get into calm, relaxed states before and during competition, while others choose to feel confident, aggressive, and unstoppable.

They access their desired states by calling on specific auditory, visual, kinesthetic, gustatory, and/or olfactory stimuli that trigger neurologically linked internal feeling states . Some MMA fighters, for example, will deliberately play their favorite rock songs in their heads before or during a fight in order to feel pumped up, powerful, and unstoppable. Some other fighters might choose to picture their children waiting for them at home, and this image unleashes in them the animalistic desire to fight for their physical safety and financial security.

One state that top athletes choose to access a lot when they’re competing is the state of being totally present in the here and now. They forget about the mistakes that they’ve made before, and they choose instead to focus their attention only on the present moment.

They’re able to let go of past mistakes so quickly because they understand that experiencing ups and downs and going through troubled waters are intrinsic parts of the process of achieving excellence. Having made peace with this reality, they learn to become comfortable being uncomfortable, and they learn how to adjust, adapt, and compensate on off days.

Speaking of off days, when they happen top athletes stop the accompanying negative thoughts in their heads dead in their tracks. They’ll use mental imagery or some other technique to acknowledge them and then let them go, and they’ll immediately replace them with positive thoughts, uplifting affirmations, and empowering incantations. In turn, these athletes remain clear-headed, focused, and determined even when the chips seem down. For them, the chips are down only for the moment, and they believe that they’re going to grab the momentum right back.

In addition to monitoring their minds, the best athletes also pay close attention to their bodies. They see to it that their body language remains positive at all times because they understand that just as their body language is influenced by the talk that is going on in their heads, the talk in their heads is influenced by how they carry themselves in their bodies. In other words, they understand that their psychology and their physiology are inter-related and feed off of each other. If they’re shoulders are slumped, for example, they’re likely to start having negative thoughts. If they smile and stand tall, however, they’re likely to think positively about the challenges they’re facing.

In addition to managing their minds and bodies, great athletes also manage their ego’s desire to control everything when they’re competing. They focus instead on controlling what they can, and they let go of their wish to control what they cannot. For example, they realize that sometimes they cannot control the outcome of a game, match, fight, etc. If a basketball team is shooting lights out from half court all night long, for example, there’s little that the opposing team can do about it. If a boxing referee is biased and intends on giving his decision to one fighter over another regardless of what goes on inside of the ring, there’s little that the unfairly treated fighter can do about it unless he scores a knockout. Finally, if a tennis player hears garbage trucks making loud, thumping noises adjacent to the court he’s playing on, there’s not much that he can do about that either.

The best athletes realize that all that they can really do is focus on the things that are within their control, such as their mental and physical preparation, their attitude, their effort level, their focus, their game plan, and their execution of that game plan. By keeping things simple and focusing on only what’s within their control, these athletes feel more at ease than peers who futile try to control the uncontrollable. Consequently, they perform better and play up to their potential far more often.

Elite athletes are also known to consistently train very hard, and they keep their focus and effort level during practice the same as they do on the day of competition. As a result, they develop great mental and physical habits that enable them to perform well on game day. Because they’re in tip-top mental and physical shape, the day of competition feels comparatively easy and effortless to them. They’ve prepared for the worst, and now they have an opportunity to perform at their best.

Moreover, because the perceived demands of competition are balanced by their perceived capabilities, they’re more likely to feel very relaxed and confident going into competition. These athletes may even experience a state of optimal arousal, often referred to as the “zone” or the “flow”. In this state, everything appears to go smoothly and effortlessly for them. They’re totally absorbed in the moment, and they play with relaxed concentration, controlled intensity, and clarity of thought.

Almost all athletes have strengths in their games as well as weaknesses. Average athletes, though, tend to fall in love with their strengths, and they tend to turn a blind eye to their weaknesses. They figure if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Since they’ve been winning more often than losing, they figure that they should just stay the course.

Elite athletes, on the other hand, are not content having glaring holes in their games. They are always striving to improve and become more well rounded, and in this vein they regularly dedicate some of their practice time to improving on their weaknesses. Take Tiger Woods, for example. Even though he’s already won 14 major golf tournaments, he still works tirelessly on improving his golf swing. Another athlete who works tirelessly on his weaknesses is Rafael Nadal, the world’s number one tennis player and winner of 9 Majors. Even though Nadal has already accomplished so much in his young tennis career, he has recently improved his volleys, added power to his backhand, and added 15 miles per hour to his serve!!

Even though the top athletes generally rely more on their weapons and strengths on game day, they’re also more willing than others to put them aside for awhile when they’re not working. They focus their attention instead on what is working for them. For example, when great baseline tennis players are hitting errant ground-strokes but are serving and volleying well, they’ll stick with serving and volleying for awhile. This gives them confidence, and this confidence gives every facet of their game a pick-me-up. Soon, the baseline shots that they were missing start landing inside of the lines.